If you’ve ever laid in bed wondering if you’re the only one who feels this way,
you’re not.

If you’ve ever looked around and thought everyone else seems to have life figured out while you’re stuck,
I promise you—they don’t.

No one teaches you how to be a man.
They just expect you to figure it out.

I know what it feels like to drift through your days with a quiet sense of panic,
feeling like you’re running out of time
but not even sure what you’re supposed to be running toward.

I know what it’s like to feel like you’re falling behind,
like you should be stronger, more confident, more certain.
Like you should have some master plan.

But here’s the truth no one tells you:
You don’t need to have it all figured out.
You just need to keep moving.

What I wish someone had told me:

Feeling lost doesn’t mean you’re failing.
It means you’re in motion.
It means you’re thinking, searching, growing.
And that’s a good thing.

I used to walk to school with headphones in,
hoping no one could tell I was falling apart inside.

I kept thinking,
“Once I figure out who I’m supposed to be, this feeling will go away.”

It didn’t—until I stopped trying to “figure it all out”
and started focusing on the next right thing.

You are not broken.

There is nothing wrong with you for feeling unsure, overwhelmed, or even hopeless.
Every man you admire has been exactly where you are now.

Find one thing to move toward.
It doesn’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t have to be permanent.
Pick something—learning a skill, getting stronger, reading a book, building something—and commit to it.

The act of working toward something will change you more than the result itself.

You need people.

The world tells men to be self-sufficient, to “man up” and handle it alone.
That’s a lie.

Isolation will destroy you.

Find a friend, a mentor, a coach—someone who genuinely wants you to win.
You don’t have to do this alone.

The secret no one tells you:

Most people are faking confidence.
Most people are scared.

The difference between those who succeed and those who stay stuck?
The ones who succeed take action even when they’re afraid.

You don’t have to know where you’re going yet.
You just have to take the next step.

If no one has told you this lately, I will:
You are not alone.
You are not failing.
And you are capable of more than you realize.

Keep going.

— Ethan
Therapist, writer, and coach for young men building clarity, connection, and confidence.

P.S. If this letter spoke to you, send it to a friend who might need to hear it too.
And if you want to talk, reply—I read every message.