Here is my Mount Rushmore of young men’s mental health.

Comment below who you would add or replace.

“Young men are the group that has fallen the furthest.”
—

Richard V Reeves

You don’t need to look far to see it.

A friend who used to text every day now ghosts everyone.
A teenager who used to laugh freely now wears sarcasm like armor.
A brother who says, “I’m fine”—but isn’t.

This isn’t just personal. It’s systemic.

We are living through a silent crisis in young men’s mental health. And unless we name it, we can’t change it.

3 Statistics You Can’t Ignore

1. Loneliness is more dangerous than smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
That’s not a metaphor—it’s a public health fact. And yet, most young men won’t say they’re lonely.
They’ll say: “I’m tired.” “I’ve been busy.” “I’m good.”
But under the surface? Many feel forgotten.

2. Over 60% of young men feel persistently sad or hopeless.
But this isn’t always what we think of as depression.
As Terrence Real explains, many men experience covert depression—masked as irritability, withdrawal, workaholism, or risky behavior.
They’re not fine. They just don’t know how to say they’re not.

3. Suicide is the leading cause of death for men under 50.
And 78% of suicide deaths are male.
Most of these men never told anyone they were struggling.

That silence?
It kills.

4 Barriers Keeping Men From Getting Help

1. Stigma.
The message from culture is loud:
Be strong. Don’t cry. Man up.
Vulnerability is treated like a threat to masculinity.

2. Lack of Language.
We say “just talk”—but don’t teach how.
Many young men literally don’t have the emotional vocabulary to describe what’s going on.

3. Digital Disconnection.

“Social media is like junk food for connection.”
Lots of input. No nourishment.
More followers, fewer friendships.

4. Therapy isn’t appealing.
For many young men, traditional talk therapy feels awkward, abstract, or irrelevant.
They don’t need a lecture. They need a lifeline.

Share

5 Tools That Can Actually Help

1. Non-Parental Role Models
A coach. A mentor. A friend’s dad.
Young men need examples of strength with softness. Not just being told “open up”—but shown how.

2. Guardrails
Scott Galloway puts it perfectly:

“Young men need structure, not sermons.”
They need purpose, rhythm, accountability—not just motivation.

3. Therapy That Works
Not all therapy is the same.
For many guys, the right fit is structured, goal-oriented, and emotionally safe.

4. The 3x3 Safety Net
Every young man should be able to name:

• 3 people he could call at 2 a.m.

• 3 places he feels fully himself

• 3 things that make him feel alive

Can’t name them? That’s where we start.

5. Tools for Real Connection
Sometimes “how are you?” isn’t enough.
Try:

• “What’s been heavy lately?”

• “Where do you feel stuck?”

• “Who really sees you right now?”

These aren’t soft skills.
They’re survival skills.

If you’re reading this and hurting:
You’re not weak. You’re not broken. You’re not alone.

And if you love a young man?
Don’t wait for him to reach out.
Reach in.

Feeling the need to engage in this dialogue further?

Come hangout with me on Wednesday at 10:45 am in the Lansing Center where I will be speaking on young men’s mental health at the Youth Mental Health Action Day.